Driving for three hours really makes you think about everything.... or at least for me it does. I am happy to be in one of the places I love, but it is a bitter sweet feeling. I love NY - it's where I grew up - my best friend E is here - really what I thought to be my whole life is here. But as each day passes I find myself growing apart from everything I knew. I feel like an outcast in my family - a constant push and pull from all ends. For instance... what I should do when I graduate college - I have been pushed in so many directions and I am just finally figuring out what I actually enjoy something that some may find crazy or think that I am not capable of achieving.
As I lay in bed I feel incomplete, and when I'm at school I am 90% complete. The small town surrounded by some of my closest friends and working somewhere I actually enjoy is such a change for me. I enjoy the independence but I still feel lost. There is something missing in my life... a void not yet filled... and the thing of it is I cannot figure out what can fill that void.
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